


Lost and Found

by DeadGrrl



Category: Askewniverse, Chasing Amy (1995)
Genre: Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 04:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7560103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadGrrl/pseuds/DeadGrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A past regret walks into the Quick Stop. Work In Progress.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: In concept, it all belongs to Kevin Smith - Jay, Silent Bob, and the Askewniverse. I'm just borrowing them for my own secret pleasures but promise to return them unharmed... but slightly dazed.
> 
> Series/Sequel: Nope, just the ongoing attempt to stick more slash into the Askewniverse.
> 
> NOTE: Work In Progress
> 
> Parting Remark: "It's Smith's World... And I'm gonna slash it.

Silent Bob and Jay leaned against their wall out side of RTS Video. Jay was making small talk with one of the locals, chattering away over something while Silent Bob calmly looked on, smoking his cigarette. 

As Bob shifted position on the wall the corner of his eye caught a glimpse of someone entering The Quick Stop. Someone familiar. 

Jay paused in his discourse as he watched Silent Bob lumber away. “Yo, Tubby. Get me a Coke.” Jay called after him and returned to this conversation. Jay continued his discussion but noticed that Bob hadn’t actually entered the Quick Stop; instead he had moved closer to the entrance and appeared to be waiting. 

“Lunchbox?” Jay called after him, wondering what the fuck was up. At that moment the door to quick stop swung open and out walked a stunning tall brunette. The woman did a double take as she caught sight of Silent Bob. 

“Robert?” came the surprised query from the young woman. 

Jay was about to correct her when he heard Silent Bob’s reply.

“Amy?”

And then Jay felt the slow sinking sensation in his stomach. Jay watched the stare at each other and felt every nameless fear he had ever known in their friendship finally come to roost. Amy. Motherfucking Amy. Motherfucking-got-Bob’s-heart-and-his-soul-and-won’t-ever-give-them-back-Amy.

“Son of a bitch...” Jay muttered under his breath. He brushed past his customer and started to walk towards them, determined to do something, anything to make this nightmare stop right the fuck now. Jay stepped into the little impromptu reunion and nodded his head at Amy. “Amy... what up?” 

Amy almost didn’t take note of Jay, her eyes glued to Bob. “Jay, long time,” she responded as she gave Bob a strained smile.

Jay wanted to punch her. Jay wanted to drag that bitch by that short stylishly spiky black hair and beat her brains out by bashing her head repeatedly into the curb. Instead her responded “Yeah. Long time. What you doing in Red Bank?”

Amy responded, still looking only at Bob. “Home visiting, thought I’d take in some of the local hang outs before going home.”

“Huh.” Jay replied, watching Bob who was equally shocked and staring at Amy. Then something disturbing happened. Bob began to talk.

“So, walking down memory lane as it were? Maybe I should accompany you. Offer you protection from the radical fringe element that stalks the fair city.” 

Jay stared at Bob in shock. That was more than Bob had said to him all month. This bitch blows into town and suddenly Silent Bob becomes a Chatty Cathy. It wasn’t fuckin’ fair...

“Thank you Robert, that would be lovely.” Amy responded as her tight smile relaxed some. Jay watched the two walk off together, into the fuckin’ proverbial sunset and felt his entire stomach roll. He felt like he was going to hurl.

The bitch of it was Jay had only himself to blame. He had had Bob all to himself for at least 3 years now. Three wonderful years. 

And he was to chicken shit to tell Bob. 

Three years and he hadn’t gotten past teasing retorts and blatant come ons. Three years of playing “best bud” and never getting to the punchline. Never telling Bob the most important thing of all. Never telling Bob that he loved him. 

“You fuckin’ idiot.” Jay whispered, unsure of whether or not it was directed toward Silent Bob or himself. Jay turned towards the bus stop and dug out his fare, readying himself for the long lonely ride home, and the case of beer waiting for him to drown his sorrows in.

Jay waited sullenly for his bus, lost in thought. He had come very close on several occasions to actually telling Bob. But he couldn’t get past making innuendo, or the blatant suggestions. Bob never once took him seriously. Jay knew that at one point there had been a chance, but he had blown that too because he was afraid. But his fear carried one horrible possible consequence, Bob might leave. Bob could leave. And that was something that made Jay wake up at night in a cold sweat.

The possibility of no Bob was too awful to contemplate the probability of it now that Amy had walked back into the picture all too sure. Jay had lost Bob anyway, and he still hadn’t ever told him.

The bus pulled up to the stop and paused then pulled away. Jay watched it pull off down the street. He turned and started walking off in the general direction that Bob and Amy had headed. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, and he had no idea what he was going to say, but Jay was aware of one thing, in his entire life nothing would be as important as this moment. That this was going to be that one moment he would recall until he was 6 feet under, and maybe even past then.

He stalked past RTS Video and Quick Stop and continued a fast pace as he turned the corner. Walking down the block he shot past a bus shelter and continued on looking for the familiar figure of his friend.

 

Silent Bob watched Jay walk down the block and turn the corner, giving a sigh of relief. Jay had missed seeing him and Amy standing on the reverse side of the bus shelter. Amy interrupted his thought with one of her own.

“He still follows you,” Amy offered softly.

Bob gave a nodded and small smile. “He’s just concerned.”

“He’s just in love.” Amy replied sadness in her eyes. “Three years and not much has changed for both of you, Bob. We broke it off because you said you had ‘feelings’ for Jay… “ Amy’s voice trailed off.

Bob shook his head, “It was complicated then, it’s still complicated now…”

“Bob, he’s not a minor anymore, and I think its way past hero worship or a teenage crush… I mean I understood that you would have wanted to wait until he was 18 and maybe give him sometime to mature, but you’re always going to be 5 years older than him, no matter what.” Amy told Bob softly.

“When Jay was 17 you were already 22 and engaged. But I couldn’t keep you away from him, couldn’t keep Jay out of our life. I hated him, did you know that? I hated him so much. My 22-year-old fiancée had a 17-year-old playmate. And no matter what I did, no matter what I tried to do, nothing lived up to what Jay could do, would do. I thought for sure he was black mailing you or something. 

“And then one day I followed you. I admit it. I had to know what he had on you, what he did to you. I wanted to protect you, to take you back from him. So I followed you and wasn’t I surprised to watch you two for 8 hours hang out in front of some mom and pop stores. You’d watch Jay deal and hang out with him. And you we’re happy, even though you didn’t talk and I don’t think I saw you crack a smile once. But your eyes, the way your eyes followed Jay, the amusement behind them, the long looks. Then I knew. I knew why I couldn’t keep my fiancée home with me.” Amy trailed off softly as she looked into Bob’s dark eyes. “You we’re in love with Jay. It was so simple that I had completely missed it, never suspecting that.”

Silent Bob looked away from her. For more than the second time in his life he thought about his decision that he had made so many years ago. He thought about where he would be now, if that one moment had played out differently. And the horrible argument that he and Amy had when he came home a ‘little’ late. He had spent the entire day with Jay and then went back to Jay’s apartment where they had gotten stoned and things that had happened…

And Bob knew, that evening he knew, that what he had with Amy wasn’t what he had wanted. 

Nothing had lead up to that incident, except maybe the smoke, relaxing them. Jay and he had been sitting on the collapsed couch in Jay’s living room. Jay slid to the floor in front of him and started unbuttoning Bob’s pants. Bob had stopped him, wide eyes asking, What are you doing?

Jay smiled up at him, so sweetly, and replied, “It ain’t fair that I gotta share you and she gets all the benefits… Now sit back, shut up and lemme. I wanna, cause I know you ain’t gonna lemme after you two get hitched…” Jay then finished unzipping Bob’s pants, bowed his head, and mumbled so quietly Bob had almost missed it, “And I wanna make sure you know what you’ll be missing.” He then proceeded to give Bob the best blowjob of his entire life.

Bob sat on the couch in shock as Jay tried to suck the life out of him via his dick. The over active mouth for once was quiet yet still very much engaging in activity. Jay swept his mouth down Bob’s cock, sucking him hard. Shock wore off quickly as Bob began to thrust into the hot mouth, moaning low and surprised. Jay was moaning softly also as he worked his mouth over Bob’s dick, using one hand to stoke Bob as his other hand rubbed himself through his jeans.

Bob gasped as his hips began a sharp thrust into the hot mouth, the heat and pressure combined with the whimpers that Jay had begun making added up to another sharp thrust and him cumming. Jay blew it as Bob filled his mouth, a strangled yelp and moan as he continued to suck on Bob, swallowing his release while shuddering with his own.

As Bob sat on the couch gasping his hands smoothed Jay’s hair away from his face. Jay’s eyes were closed as he leaned into the caress. They sat there like that for a long moment, neither one of them talking. Jay placed a small kiss on Bob’s hand, mumbled something and got up. He looked at Bob for a long moment, a strangely pensive expression on his face, forehead creased in thought. 

Bob watched Jay carefully, trying to gauge what was going though the blond’s head. The blue eyes held his own for a moment longer, and Jay nodded and told him, “Better get home, Silent Bob. Amy’s probably worried by now,” and turned and walked away to his bedroom.

It was the moment after that Bob regretted. The biggest regret about the whole Amy incident. Bob had gone home. He went home and gotten into the big argument. The argument had little to do with Amy’s past, what she had done or seen. The argument was a completely different subject entirely. But he couldn’t tell Jay that.

But that little incident between himself and Jay was never again repeated. Never spoken of. Never brought into the light of day. It was as if it never even happened. Sometimes Bob wondered if he had some fevered delusion that it had.

But the moment that Bob regretted, still regretted, was that he had not followed Jay to his bedroom and proceeded to fuck him blind.

What Bob wanted wasn’t Amy, though she was a wonderful girl. What he wanted was to be on his knees blowing a mouthy, pouty, little blond as if his life depended on it. What he wanted was that blond in his bed, in him, making him moan. What he wanted was that blond in all manners conceivable and few that may defy description. But most importantly what he wanted was to hear those words that were mumbled so softly afterward, after he came. The words that the blond mumbled so softly and sadly into his thigh, “I love you.”

Bob gave a sigh and looked at Amy, her face making him snap back to the present. “Complicated.” Bob told her again.

Amy gave him a sad look, shook her head and replied, “No. Not complicated. Do you love him?”

Bob looked away from Amy, thinking to himself this isn’t a conversation one should be having with a jilted fiancée. And he jilted her good. Bob had always thought of himself as a good guy. But the manner in which he had broken off the relationship was unforgivable. Amy had come home to an empty apartment. Granted, he had left behind her clothes, the personal effects, and anything that he had given her. But the furniture, the appliances, all purchased by Bob in preparation of their life together, was gone. No note, no goodbye. Just gone.

Not that Amy hadn’t been expecting it, especially after the conversation that had happened. Amy convicted him of loving Jay more than he loved her. The concept that he loved Jay had already been established by previous arguments. Bob denied anything past friendship until the end. The last big fight, after he came home with the sensation of Jay blowing him still fresh in his mind, he sat down on the couch and listened to Amy go off. 

She had been very angry; if flames could have shot from her eyes Bob would have been toast. He listened to her, quiet calmly ask him why he hadn’t come home. Bob wouldn’t answer her. She asked him if he had been with Jay. Bob still wouldn’t answer her. She asked a great many questions after that, and each question had the same reply, none. Her voice went from rational and calm, to hoarse and tear-filled as Bob continued to not speak. Bob wouldn’t answer her, couldn’t answer her. He had never lied to Amy, never mislead her, never circumvented the truth.

Eventually she asked the question, the only one he would answer. Amy, crying and voice strained asked him, “Won’t you say something? Anything? Give me something?”

“I have feelings for him.” Bob had whispered, and felt the wetness on his own face. 

“Oh.” Amy replied. “You lousy son of a bitch…” Amy left the apartment, slamming the door. By the time she had returned Bob had been gone, along with all of his stuff. 

When Bob had shown up on Jay’s doorstep, almost week after the “incident” he arrived with a duffel bag, a pocket full of cash, and a rental truck holding exactly three items; a sofa, his bed and one box of personal items. He had sold everything, not wanting to be reminded of Amy and the life they had almost had together. Jay had opened the door, taken one look at Bob’s face and made his own conclusions.

“The bitch dumped *you*?” Jay yelled incredulously. Bob hadn’t thought to even explain to Jay what had happened, instead opted to take the easy way out. He nodded his head.

During the half-hour workout as he helped Bob move his stuff into the apartment Jay had ranted and raved about what bitches women were. He gave Bob some options for revenge, and painted a very unflattering portrait as to what type of woman Amy was. Bob let him, never stopped him. 

Jay moved Bob into his apartment, never even discussing the fact that Bob was moving in, it was just assumed. After they got the mattress into the spare room, and removed the old couch they settled down on Bob’s couch with a beer. Bob watched Jay carefully, remembering the last time that sat on the couch together…

But nothing happened. Jay didn’t try to relive that incident. Bob was slightly perplexed. Maybe he had misunderstood…

So nothing happened. And nothing continued to happen for the next three years. Jay was his typical self, making smart-ass comments, teasing Bob, but never delivering. Never moving past the tease. The first time he realized that Jay had gone out for an evening and banged some chick it had almost killed him. Then Bob realized that what he thought had been something, wasn’t. It saddened him, but he accepted. He moved on, having brief but intense relationships, and always remembering the wonderful moment he had shared with Jay. 

As time went on Bob formulated the ‘Chasing Amy’ story from bits of truth, bits of Jay’s observations, and the over-whelming need to make the whole experience into something more than what it had become, a testament to regret.

Bob looked at Amy, standing in front of him, and thought long and hard for a moment. “That wouldn’t change anything.”

Amy nodded back to Bob, in that shared understanding. “No, loving someone doesn’t make everything right.”

Silent Bob looked away, “I’m sorry. For everything. I was young and stupid, and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that Amy.”

“No, I didn’t. And I still think you’re an asshole for having done that to me. But I think you more of an asshole for not telling me what happened; instead you tell me you having feelings for Jay and then take off. We we’re suppose to be married in 2 months, Bob, and you up and disappeared.”

Bob still couldn’t look at Amy, but nodded his head. “I’m aware of that.”

“Aware? Aware? You are such a stubborn son of a bitch…” Amy muttered to herself, shaking her head in disbelief. “I see you after you disappear with that little stoner for three years and you’re still not giving me the whole story. I don’t believe this. I hope you get your head out of your ass eventually Bob, and maybe stop bullshitting yourself.” Amy concluded and turned to leave.

“Wait. I do. I do love him.” Bob told her quietly. 

Amy faced Bob again, a pained look in her eyes. “I knew it… I knew that’s what it was all about. But you couldn’t just tell me, could you? No, you had to be a goddamn enigma. But I figured that it was that you loved him… Well, are you happy together?”

“We’re not together, Amy.”

Amy rolled her eyes, “Bullshit. You’re just not fucking. You two are more together than married couples I know. You’re together; you just haven’t realized it yet. Or at least part of you hasn’t. In the past three years I’ve imagined terrible things happening you, I’ve cried and ranted at your shithead behavior, I cursed and screamed, and I finally moved on. I would hope that all of our arguments, all of the goddamn pain that you put me through would have taught you the most important thing about a relationship.” 

Bob looked at Amy, speechless at the anger in her voice.

Amy gave a heavy sigh, calmed herself, and continued quietly, “That your actions speak much louder than you words, but sometimes you have to say the words… loudly.” Amy looked upon Bob with pity, shook her head and started to walk away. “I really hope you figured your shit out someday, Bob… Because as one of the walking wounded you’ve left behind, I would hope that you did it for a good reason.”

“Amy…” Bob stuttered, trying to find the right words to explain, to make her understand, to ease her hurt.

“Save it, Robert. I’m not the one. I know that. And your words would be better spent on the one that is.” She responded as she walked briskly away, back toward the Quick Stop. 

Bob watched her leave, stunned at the exchange. The back of his brain was rolling over the phrase “say the words… loudly.” 

“Right.” Bob agreed with the vanishing figure. Digging into the pockets of his long coat he retracted the pack of cigarettes, shook one out, lit it and had a long, strong, drag. Mind made up, Bob stalked off in the direction he had seen Jay go.


End file.
